Castlefield

Please don't leave my room again
You're the only thing that made me feel like this year
Is still worth living
I wish I didn't have to write a song
About how everyone here hates me
So I'll drown in my mistakes that I can't fix

So I lay in the bottom of life
Everything that you said so in trust
Will never mean a thing
To anyone but me

And I spent this year just trying to graduate
But everything just won't help me concentrate
On all of my lies
They happen all the time

I can't leave this place forever
I'm a goddamn mess but I swear I'll get better in time
In your eyes, I'm still doing just fine
And I can't try to get past this bad weather
All the thoughts in my head just seem to cloud over in time
In your eyes I'm still doing just fine

So if I stay, I'll keep out of your way
‘Cause everything you said to me
Was written with complacency

And the places that you wanted me
Was something that I couldn't see
I cannot relate
Feeling weaker every day

I can't leave this place forever
I'm a goddamn mess but I swear I'll get better in time
In your eyes I'm still doing just fine
And I can't try to get past this bad weather
All the thoughts in my head just seem to cloud over in time
In your eyes I'm still doing just fine

So I spent all my money
Going from guitar lessons to therapy sessions
But I still feel pretty weak
And that's the way you abuse me
And that's the way you destroy me
And that's the way that you hate me
Every f****** day

I'm so sick of getting stoned in the shower
My lungs collapse and I lay there for hours
‘Cause I don't want to waste a breath on anything
The places I fly with these broken wings

And it's true, that I need you
This life's not f****** fixed and I need a redo
I'm just a waste of breath
I need something new
Something out there to help me through

I can't leave this place forever
I'm a goddamn mess but I swear I'll get better in time
In your eyes I'm still doing just fine
And I can't try to get past this bad weather
All the thoughts in my head just seem to cloud over in time

So I spent all my money
Going from guitar lessons to therapy sessions
But I still feel pretty weak

If it doesn't make you feel alive
Well is it really worth doing it?
I don't know why I tend to strive with these things
But I'll never go through with them

Please tell me why I still confide
In people I don't even trust in
It's all too hard to see the light in the dark
When you've got tunnel vision

Now, just hear me out
I don't know where we're headed
Won't talk about you
With your wicked words
I've headed out

And that's why I felt this way
Standing outside of your parent's place
Staring at the writing
The writing on our hands

And maybe I should search for a smile
It'd be nice to talk about things without going back another mile
And with all of this empty space
I'll never fill the void again and find comfort in your place

Now, just hear me out
I don't know where we're headed
Won't talk about you
With your wicked words
I've headed out

And that's why I felt this way
Standing outside of your parent's place
Staring at the writing
The writing on our hands

And I still know all of our means
Those rips that existed without any seams
They're all our best laid
Our best laid plans

They're all our best laid
Our best laid plans

Anxious habits
I'll come back home soon
Maybe we're all built for reaction
And there's nothing I can do
I know you're not part of the problem
You're just helping out
I still feel the pain inside a distant mind
There's no easy way out

You'll never find me here again
I've given up on this
Taking in my loneliness
(But I will still break again)
My mind is filled with emptiness
A pleasant side effect
I'll never feel the same again
(But I will still play pretend)

Fasten in let's contemplate
Where is my solar state
I'm never one to concentrate
(On the things that I have)
Let me break and sell myself
I'm broken on your shelf
I want to just be someone else
(But we still come out the same)

I wanna breathe in and be okay

The glamour you held with your pain
I'll just throw out everything
I wanna love myself again but the point is small and I can't wait
Contain all your thoughts in a jar by the door
I wanna tell you that I'm innocent
But you'll come back with running metaphors

Every now and then I try
To improve what is mine
Calling on another lie
(To see if you care this time)
Giving up on all my thoughts
I'll leave myself to rot
I want to leave her but I'm not
(Questioning what is mine)

Breaking down these walls again
Between myself and them
I'm always locked into this trend
(Of knowing where I should end)
Holding on, I'm breathing fast
I wish this wouldn't last
I want to leave this in the past
(But I will still break again)

I wanna breathe in and be okay

The glamour you held with your pain
Just throw out everything
I wanna love myself again but the point is small and I can't wait
Contain all your thoughts in a jar by the door
I wanna tell you that I'm innocent
But you'll come back with running metaphors

I want to see my head under water (head under water)
Maybe I'll breathe a little better down there (‘cause I can't breathe here)
All this life is heaven sent
It's nothing that is filled with dread
But I'm giving these a habits a noose

The thoughts in our heads will never feel the same again
'Cause I've always been wrong from the start
The pain in my muscles, the taste of blood in my mouth
The memories I can't get out

And I don't wanna think about
The time you met my family last spring
And I don't wanna walk by
That old coffee shop again

'Cause maybe I've been feeling just fine
But I can't make things better in time
'Cause maybe I've been feeling just fine
But I can't make things better in time

And I've said that I wish I was dead
I'll never be myself again
Oh these thoughts in my head
And the things that we said oh
We've always been s*** out of luck

I've always been s*** out of love
Out of love

Oh don't do this to me
Don't you know I'm still thinking about
How I'm trying to get better
But there's holes in my sweater
And the cold keeps bringing me down

When I can't get to sleep
I stay up and I just think about
All the words that I stuttered
But couldn't be bothered
To let you know just how I felt

About the thoughts in my head
And the words left unsaid
I'll never get a chance to say to you
When push comes to shove
Well my life's not above how
I've been always been s*** out of luck

And out of love

You're all that I know
I just let you go
Everything that you say
The ghost that haunts you and me
I just can't escape

I can see the look in your eyes
Never been the one to fight, just fly
They say my wounds can heal if I take my time
But in the end I'm not worried about mine